hes fuckin perfect.  absloutely.  i smile when i think of him.  he makes me laugh.  he kisses me until my knees go weak.  hes not 10 yrs older than me.  (quite a problem ive had in the past)  hes everything ive been looking for.  so i ask myself, what is holding me back?  why am i so apprehensive?  oh yeah, all those others that started out like this and turned ugly very quickly.  but, for some reason, this is different.  i know it.  see, because for the first time, i found someone that wants to take me to the movies, wants to drive to my work to visit me for my 15 minute break, and compliments me no matter what.  basically, this is going places.  i hope.  theres something that could get in the way and so i find myself holding out just in case that does.  but in the meantime, i am working very hard to get past my own insecurities and just enjoy this wonderful person who has come into my life. 

on another note...school sucks.  for some reason i just hate it right now.  i really hate government and every other class is just seeming really pointless right now.  im not getting much sleep anymore because when i do get the chance to go to bed, i cant seem to sleep, which is also affecting the way i feel about school because i just want to go to sleep. 

thats enough for now, no one reads this anyway...i basically write in this when i have some worthwhile news when i look back at it...

Currently Reading Hamlet (Folger Shakespeare Library) By William Shakespeare see related

for jon, no i never have an entry without boy problems because they seem to gravitate towards me...the problems that is.  haha.  school is no longer fun.  in fact im quite sick of it.  calculus is too damn hard.  spanish is too damn boring.  and the rest of the classes just kinda fit in there somewhere getting lost in the shuffle and wished away.  thats a bad habit of mine, wishing time away in order to try and make something else come faster. days are blurring together in my mind, lost in the menotonousness of them.  (i dont think thats a word, but it explains it perfectly)  day in and day out its school, work, homework, sleep, school, work, homework, sleep.  it gets more than a little old.  and to top that off...i went and complicated my life with a boy.  a boy who is seemingly attached, says he isnt, and i just kinda fit in there somewhere.  the thing is that i dont really want a relationship so its kinda good, but then i dont wanna mean nothing to him.  what girl wants that? 

im am however, excited about christmas this year.  last year i had this depression thing going on and was not excited at all.  in fact, thinking of christmas only made it worse.  but this year i am so excited to be around my family and friends and have a break from school for a few weeks.  although that means lots of kroger time...eww.  

 i really cant wait for college, when people arent always telling you what to do and what you should be doing 24/7.  im ready to make my own decisions.  I know i mess up sometimes, but thats life.  no one likes the textbook life.  its no fun.  i just cant wait.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  be thankful of friends and family.  they are angels in disguise!  and be careful on black friday...it can get a little scary.